while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
