All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
