She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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