i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
