When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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