I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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