just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize