I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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