He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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