My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
