New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
