If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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