Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
