Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I love you.
Bad choice
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
