Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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