the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
