Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
