So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize