It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
