At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
