why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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