so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
