i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
