I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
