Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
