I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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