I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize