Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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