I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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