I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
