My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
