its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
