his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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