What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
