I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
