Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
