is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
