no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
