Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
