id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He shit in the fireplace
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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