I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
