Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
