I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize