I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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