yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Randomize
