I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
