Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
