That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
