I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
