Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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