So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
