they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize