Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
