Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
