very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
