I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
